Binge Eating: Riding out the Urge.
I was afraid to admit it for years- because I was so ashamed, and felt I was so very alone in. I was honestly so embarrassed that I suppressed the fact I had a problem. I figured it would eventually stop, and I’d just grow out of it.
Perhaps once I moved. Once I graduated. Started this new job. Got married. Had a baby…
But It didn’t “just go away”. My bingeing had become integrated into my life, no matter how much I hated it, and promised myself I’d stop. It just kept coming back.
At one point, through a combination of therapy and along with my educational background- I’d chalked my bingeing up to my inability to cope with life stressors. Every trigger I associated with bingeing I thought I needed to identify and then work to avoid, and somehow solve all of my “issues” before I could live binge-free. “I’ll try to never be home alone. I’ll keep all the trigger food out of the house. I need to practice mediating, or yoga, or talking more with friends, or find a hobby…”
NONE of this worked.
.
Yes, these things certainly helped me in ways: learning what my triggers were, journaling, learning new stress management skills, planning out HOW I would deal with situation XYZ…
But they did NOT end my bingeing.
The bingeing continued - for years.
Then, I came across it.
It was in a book I found (an audible book) called “Brain Over Binge” by Katherine Hansen. Now I had read many eating disorder books, and done TONS of research desperately searching for an answer to my suffering.
But this book? Wow. I was hooked. THIS was it!
The author’s descriptions of her binge episodes were SO similar to mine. It felt like she was inside my head. All the things she had tried, and crazy things she’d done, the life she’d missed out on, the embarrassment and shame. And the desperation to be FREE of it all. To just be NORMAL.
She was speaking to my soul.
And then, she shared her secret. How to stop bingeing. And guess what?… It worked.
I encourage anyone struggling with emotional compulsive eating to check out the book, but for the sake of summarizing- I’ll fill you IN ON THE SECRET HERE!!!:
You need to recognize the URGE to binge as your brain’s improper wiring.
Think of it as silly, neurological junk.
It has no power over you, and it doesn’t serve a purpose for you, its just old jargon that’s still shooting off. But we will fix that, and it will STOP.
Because over and over again you began to act out on binges, eventually over time, with ANY habit- the neurological pathways that activate in the brain during certain behaviors- become strong and habitual.
The URGE of the binge is only that- an intense signal from your “lower” animalistic brain to your “higher” executive brain- telling you that you really want to binge.
This is what I was failing to recognize. I always felt my Urge was too powerful to resist- as if I was COMPELLED to follow through.
But the urge has ZERO power over our physical actions or our decision making. That mis-wired response screaming at us to “EAT EAT EAT” cannot make our bodies take action.
This is the part where we have 100% full control over our decision and whether we take physical action.
The key is to recognize the urge as silly, neurological junk.
The urge will eventually pass, and you will not act on it (no matter how loud that little voice yells).
It will be UNCOMFORTABLE. But that is all.
This discomfort comes from not following through on a habit loop- a behavior that we continuously have followed over and over, because we know we will get the short term “reward”.
Just like that of a cigarette- it is a very short term instant pleasure, with terrible long-term effects. We KNOW the distress, embarrassment, shame, financial expense, isolation and resentment of it.
We know that little “high” is not worth the terrible cost.
We know we want to stop.
Eventually, practicing “riding out the urge” (as I like to call it) is similar to quitting smoking, or drinking, or any other instantly- rewarding habit. These behaviors release serotonin and all the other feel-good chemicals in our brains (making them addictive in nature).
Ride out the urge- don’t run or hide or avoid it. Ride it out and PRACTICE changing that habit loop.
This is how we eventually kill off the urge. By not reinforcing the old behavior- but practicing the new way.
At first it feel uneasy and awkward, but over time the new way becomes THE new habit.
And girl…. You are set FREE again!
The book goes into great detail on many issues with binge eating and bulimia.
It has helped me change my life. I went from someone who struggled with bulimic behaviors for many years of my life to finally crossing over into a world of food freedom. Where I not only have LOST weight, but can have a peaceful mind around eating, and learned how to “ride out the urge” when that neurological junk arises.
Working with a Coach through this process was been one of the most impactful transformations I’ve experienced.
Having someone to openly share my habits with, set up goals, check in for personal accountability and support… its exactly what helped me push myself to reclaim my personal power and find freedom again in my life!