How to Accept Your Body (when you don’t LOVE it)

One of the trickiest issues that comes up in my work (especially with women), has been improving self image when they’re unhappy with their bodies.

The problem usually sounds like: “I’m embarrassed looking in the mirror.  My clothes don’t fit. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin.

I just want to lose weight so I can be happy.“

We know EXACTLY how she feels.  About 80% of women report dissatisfaction with their bodies. You’ve likely been there -or maybe are there right now.

This is a painful state; our love, safety and belonging all feel threatened.

And because it is so uncomfortable, there is this knee jerk reaction to make radical change immediately.

So you set off on a frantic quest to lose weight, fueled by negative emotions, fear and desperation.  This might be through diet, exercise, medical procedures, plastic surgery, etc.

The problem that shows up here is trying to rid the weight without fully accepting your body’s current state.

If we’re unable to accept our bodies in a state, no matter what lengths we go to “fix” ourselves… we will always carry negativity and shame.

Your self-image is the relationship you hold with yourself- how you relate to your body.  In order to have a neutral self-image, you don’t need to LOVE everything about you (because if you are unhappy with your weight, or some part of you- that’s ok!). 

Your opinion of beauty doesn’t define your worth.

This may feel like a nearly impossible concept to deconstruct (especially if you’ve been living with it for years).

But here is your key to freedom from this dungeon of shame: you don’t need to hold off on feelings of self-acceptance until you’ve lost weight.

You CAN do both, simultaneously.

Cultivate a healthier, accepting tone with your body and current state right now (and yes, you may also desire to change and lose weight)!

You don’t need to LOVE your body to ACCEPT your body.

This shift in attitude allows you to no longer be at odds with yourself.  You don’t need to battle your own body or go to war with your own habits.  Get on the same team, and work together in a calm, accepting way.

What you’ll notice is a brand new attitude to navigate your journey with, including peace, pleasure, and fortifying your healthy future choices.

It’s shifting from negativity or desperation into a state of neutrality and acceptance.

If you want to make change- do it!  Give yourself permission to make adjustments from a place of self-ACCEPTANCE. 

“I don’t love this… but I ACCEPT this.”

5 Tips for Body Acceptance

Gratitude for Your Body:

Deep gratitude is intensely healing (when you do it right).  Take a moment to focus on one wonderous aspect of your body, for example the power of sight.  The colors and beauty and visual experience your body is able to gift you at any moment is truly a blessing and something we take for granted.  Take this moment to deeply appreciate and feel grateful for this gift of sight. (Go deep with gratitude, it’s an instant perspective shift).

Wear Clothes that Make You Feel Good (NOW):

Even if you are planning to lose weight, do not delay dressing yourself for today in the body you have, and make yourself feel good!  Give yourself permission to play with different styles that have you feeling good in your own skin.  Dressing to adorn our bodies benefits the way we perceive our bodies!

Diversify Your Social Media Feed:

There are influencers out there that are all about body positivity (and they come in all shapes and sizes)!  You’ll feel inspired if you begin to follow other women with diverse body types and shapes that demonstrate radical body acceptance.  It is key here to broaden your horizons with the diversity of bodies. Challenge yourself to broaden your scope and perception on how the human body appears- so many shapes, colors, sizes, ages.  Diversity is key to feeling inspired and uninhibited!

Set Boundaries with Others:

We’re all on our own journeys.  If there’s someone in your life who sends negative body image messages, go ahead and set some boundaries.  Boundaries may look like creating a “no body-shaming policy” (you can be playful with this: “From now on, no conversation around body shaming ourselves OR others”- this is a great challenge and inspires others to up level their own self-image game).  In other circumstances, boundaries may look like limiting time spent with a person.

Re-write Your Mirror Dialogue: 

Proactively gaze into the mirror and focus on something you LOVE about your body (your hair, butt, whatever you’re feelin’!).  When you catch yourself body-checking or critiquing an area you dislike, practice shifting from that negativity to a place of neutral acceptance: “these are my legs – I accept them”.  Then return to a part of you that you can play up, and have fun! We are each assigned our own vessels, and only you have the power to choose what you focus on, so go ahead and work to empower your self- image!

Marissa Davitt is a certified Life and Health Coach, with an M.S. in Mental Health Counseling. She works with smart individuals who currently are feeling stuck in their habits, health, careers or relationships.  She helps them find clarity and realignment- transforming from stressed and stuck to engaged and thriving! 

Click here and book a complimentary Clarity Call to explore more for yourself, and see if working with a Coach is a good fit for you and your life!