7 Mistakes Most Overwhelmed People Make
Overwhelm (the feeling of carrying too heavy a load) is at an all-time high. In our fast-paced, status-driven society, it may feel like you’re constantly under pressure to perform. Living with a never-ending to-do list, cycling through daily tasks, only to glance up at the calendar for what’s coming next.
Your reprieve may be on the couch Friday night, in a bottle of wine Saturday, or sleeping in on a lazy Sunday morning. Its always short lived, as Monday peaks it’s ugly head around the corner.
However, overwhelm does NOT need to be your M.O.
Here are 7 common mistakes overwhelmed people make, and how to flip the script to feel clearer, calmer and experience life at a deeper level of fulfillment.
7 Mistakes Most Anxious People Make:
1) Not Planning Meals
Meal planning might sound daunting, but it’s actually a lifehack that will pay you back tenfold! Scheduling 20 minutes in your calendar every Thursday afternoon to make a list of meals for you and/or your family significantly reduces stress and overwhelm in three powerful ways: 1) you eliminate the daily struggle of having to answer “what’s for dinner”, 2) you brainstorm healthy choices that will keep your brain and body balanced (vs. the desperate McDonalds run, resulting in the opposite), and 3) you save $$ by cutting out unnecessary spending, reducing financial stress!
Tip: Meal plan in a way that makes sense for you! If you want to plan all meals for an entire week, or if you’d simply appreciate having Monday – Thursday dinner plans locked down, you call the shots! Your future self will appreciate it!
2) Not Prioritizing the To-Do list
Keep in mind: your in-box will never be empty (even once you’ve died). You will always have things that need tending to. However, its essential to get clear on what is urgent and important, and which matters can be set aside.
I challenge my clients to identify the top 3 items on their to-do list every day (and no more than 3). The rest of the items disappear for another day. This forces you to dial into the most pressing matters, and allows you to mentally let go of the rest. You will be more productive with following through on what’s important, and no longer be a slave to a never-ending list. The key is to practice your best judgement- recognize what you need to tackle and let go of things less urgent.
Tip: If you have a bunch of micro-tasks on your to-do list (send check in the mail, drop off dry cleaning, return neighbors’ shovel, etc.), group these together and bang them out all at once on a designated afternoon!
3) Not Meditating
The recent surge in mindfulness research- and many other types of meditation- just go to show that it pays to slow down. Yet, so many of us don’t practice meditation regularly due to this one objection “I don’t have time.”
While it does require a certain amount of time to clear your mind and practice a mental exercise, it can be done within a few minutes of peace. The best part is that not only can you benefit from even a few moments of meditation, but it replenishes your energy in a way that can actually increase your feelings of happiness, joy, and fulfillment. You actually bring your mind and body to a better state of functioning after meditating, so that you are performing at a higher level mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Tip: A very simple, easy to do breathing exercise takes about 2 minutes and will bring you from a state of stress to a state of relaxation: inhale for a count of 5- hold for 5- exhale for 7 (repeat about 10 times, or for 2 minutes). Keep your mental space clear, only paying attention to your rhythmic breathing pattern. Enjoy!
4) Not Exercising in the AM
Exercise is a staple in managing stress levels to keep your body and brain healthy. When you’re not exercising your body consistently, its likely you will experience more feelings of anxiety, depression, fatigue, disengagement in life’s activities, etc. On the contrary, if you’re exercising consistently- you’ll notice an increase in your energy levels, improved mental health, self-confidence, and overall life engagement. You’re also proactively combating a host of lifestyle diseases that plague our stress-ridden society- so keep it up!
But why in the AM, you ask? The most successful individuals I’ve coached have been those that commit to daily exercise at a set time of day – and yes, it is first thing in the morning! It’s because this is the least likely time of day to be faced with unexpected interruptions. Before other’s are awake to demand your attention, before you begin working on a project, before you’ve looked at your inbox. Exercising first thing in the morning maintains your physical and mental health as a top priority, and ensures it gets done well before all the potential interruptions arise (as they always do)!
Tip: This may sound odd, but I have found it very helpful to sleep in my sports bra and shorts Ill be exercising in the next AM. This further reduces the interruptions or resistance to getting my exercise in early- I’m up and ready to go!
5) FOMO
Fear of Missing Out. We all know it, but those who experience higher levels of overwhelm also may have a harder time saying “No”.
Master the ability to select what you give our energy to- and LET GO of the rest! We are inundated with opportunities and activities, but more doesn’t mean better. Realize that your time is of great value, and you hold the responsibility of deciding how you spend it.
You will experience greater satisfaction in life when you spend your time in activities that are meaningful to you, vs. operating out of FOMO or obligation. Marie Kondo your life- keep the things that bring you JOY, and discard the rest!
Tip: Create a list/journal about values in your life and what is important to you. The more you explore yourself, the more you’ll learn what you align with and want to commit your time to. A joyful life will reflect balance, and alignment with values.
6) Scrubbing the Grout
I read this somewhere years ago and it stuck with me: high achievers don’t scrub the grout. In other words, don’t waste your time on things you don’t need to.
Now, if you love scrubbing grout, and it’s you’re favorite pass time and brings you joy- great! But if you’re feeling overwhelmed about keeping the damn grout clean all the time, there is a good chance you might benefit from stepping back and looking at the bigger picture. The grout might not need you to scrub it – or maybe just not as often as you do currently.
If it’s a task you’ve decided needs to be done, but feels time-sucking for you, delegate it!
Tip: Hire someone to scrub your grout/ paint the hallway/ do the landscaping, or whatever it is! Personally, the best investment I’ve made for my family is having a home cleaner come visit once a month! She does a deep cleaning that gives us a fresh feel (and me peace of mind)! Before outsourcing this, I’d spend most of my Saturday mornings trying to clean the house- stressing about it as I also juggled the kids and any weekend plans. What a gamechanger it’s been to call in some reinforcement and give myself a pass!
7) Skipping Play Time
Remember when you were a kid, and every day was filled with adventures? You spent a great deal of your life in play-mode. As an adult, play continues to be an important part of our wellbeing. It allows us to destress, releases endorphins, strengthen relationships, increases creative thinking, problem solving, cognitive functions, decreases depression, and improves overall wellness as we age.
The catch is, we live in a culture where play may seem frivolous, or even a waste of time. Or perhaps you believe play can only come after you’ve worked long and hard - finally earning a bit of a vacation. But skipping regular play time restricts us from our creative juices and so many other restorative health effects. There’s nothing better than spending time doing an activity you love, but if you don’t create the time, money doesn’t make up for it.
As an adult, we don’t get “recess”, but scheduling out our own playtime is very helpful in making sure it still happens! It could be playing soccer, a board game with the family, working on a puzzle, swimming with friends, taking a fun dance class or cooking a new recipe.
Tip: If you are looking to discover a new hobby that really delivers a sense of therapeutic play, I always recommend looking to the creative arts: art, music, theatre, dance, and creative writing (infinite ways to enjoy as a re-immersing adult)!